“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” (Hebrews 11:1 ESV)
Hope is a funny thing. It is a confident expectation that a positive outcome will occur; it does not require a favorable situation to exist. It can exist in an unfavorable situation. That’s faith.
I’ve been thinking a lot about a sermon by Elevation Worship, the speaker talked about Jacob upon receiving the news that his beloved son, Joseph, was still alive.
“And they [his sons] told him, ‘Joseph is still alive, and he is ruler over all the land of Egypt.’ And his [Jacob’s] heart became numb, for he did not believe them.” (Genesis 45:26 ESV)
His heart became numb.
Google describes a numb heart as “a defense mechanism where you feel detached, empty, or unable to experience a full range of emotions.” Biblehub describes it as, “Long-nurtured sorrow that makes sudden joy hard to absorb.”
Jacob had endured every parent’s worst nightmare – losing a child, his favorite son (Genesis 37:3). He lived 22 years in the shadow of the life he thought he would have. He grieved the years he thought he would have with Joseph. He likely had a thousand little funerals for a life that was lost. We can see how this trauma affected him – how fear overtook him in Genesis 42:38:
“But Jacob said, ‘My son [Benjamin] will not go down there with you; his brother is dead, and he is the only one left. If harm comes to him on the journey you are taking, you will bring my gray head down to the grave in sorrow.’”
Benjamin and Joseph were the only two sons of Jacob’s beloved wife Rachel – believing Joseph dead, Benjamin was his last connection to his late wife. Jacob was living not only in a season of long-nurtured sorrow, but also in fear.
His other sons had a history of deception. In combination with years of sorrow, Jacob struggled to believe the news. Hope felt dangerous because it meant being open to the possibility that something that was taken from him could be returned.
Hope can feel painful after seasons of loss and disappointment. If you’re walking through a season where it feels hard to hope, you’re in good company. Jacob was not chosen for being righteous – he was flawed – he was human. Like his sons, Jacob was also a deceiver – his name literally meant heel grabber, but he was loved by God – he was chosen simply out of God’s grace. An unmerited grace that transformed Jacob to Israel through a wrestling match, which would prepare him for an emotional and mental struggle he would have to face at the loss of his beloved son Joseph.
It’s a profound detail, which can be easily overlooked in chapter 45, but in the process of restoring Joseph to his family, God was also restoring Jacob’s identity to Israel.
“But when they told him all the words of Joseph, which he had said to them, and when he saw the wagons that Joseph had sent to carry him, the spirit of their father Jacob revived. And Israel said, ‘It is enough; Joseph my son is alive. I will go and see him before I die.’” (Genesis 45:27-28)
And Israel – If you blink, you’ll miss it. Remember, Jacob wrestled with God to secure a blessing and divine protection. That night in the desert, Jacob found himself afraid of seeing a brother he had deceived years prior. He walked away from that wrestling match with a limp – wrestling made him dependent, but it also gave him a new identity, it made him Israel. In losing Joseph and being asked to send Benjamin, Jacob was once again entering the wrestling ring with God.
“Take also your brother [Benjamin], and arise, go again to the man [Joseph]. May God Almighty grant you mercy before the man, and may he send back your other brother [Simeon] and Benjamin. And as for me, if I am bereaved of my children, I am bereaved.” (Genesis 43:13-14 ESV)
Jacob had to wrestle to become Israel – it was a life-long formation story. The first time, he had to release fear to God to receive a blessing. The second time, he had to release Benjamin to receive another blessing. Both times resulted in the restoration of the family. Both times resulted in the restoration of Jacob’s identity as Israel. Both times renewed and restored his hope in his relationship with God.
Hope grows through surrender, because God uses surrender to reshape and restore us again and again.
What is your Benjamin?
What does it look like to surrender it? Reply
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